nový př 18
Friday, December 25, 1998 ---- 10:22 a.m.
There was a light breakfast laid out for them on the low table near the settee. Harry made short work of his portion, all the while trying his best not to stare at the hearth where several dozen presents were piled up. A lot of them had his name visible, so he supposed they were for him, but he still couldn't really believe it. "Are those all for me?" he finally asked.
Severus nodded as he put down his teacup.
Harry began chewing his lip. "I don't know what's going on. I never got that many, before."
"It seems to me that you're more popular with the students than you realised." Severus' eyes gleamed. "Either that, or some of the Quidditch players are currying favour, hoping you'll retract your decision to hold practises before classes rather than in the evening hours."
"Oh, a lot of these are from students?"
The look on Severus' face said that he'd just mentioned as much.
Harry still felt floored. "Should I keep them? I mean, is there some kind of protocol for that, or . . . um . . . oh."
"Yes, I never have had much cause to wonder if I should keep mountains of gifts from students."
"You must have got the occasional one, I'm sure. Slytherins being . . . well, Slytherins."
"You're implying that my snakes would need an ulterior motive to give me anything?"
Harry was taken aback by that, but only for a moment. "Well, you just implied the same about my Quidditch players."
"You can see the depth of my faith in student sincerity." Severus summoned a bright blue gift from the pile and handed it to Harry. "Hogwarts hasn't any rule against your keeping such presents. And you're hardly in a position to be compromised, as you don't issue final marks in any subject."
"Ha, just you wait. Bryerson'll have me doing that, too, before long." Harry's forehead wrinkled. "I'm not surprised that anything addressed to me came to you, but shouldn't these have ended up at the head table? Oh . . . redirecting spell?"
"Applied before the holidays, as a precaution." Severus shrugged. "I don't get many presents. I'm known for preferring it that way, so for so many to land at my place over the past few days would have aroused some discussion among the others on staff."
"Past few days?" Harry blinked. "You've been collecting them somewhere?"
"Hiding them, yes."
"I wouldn't have opened them early, or anything."
Severus' voice went silky. "But you like getting them all at once like this, don't you?"
Harry couldn't deny it; he did. He couldn't help it. He saw that big pile of presents and something inside him smiled widely, thinking, See? You're worth recognising too, on Christmas.
But there was a fine line between feeling like he was worth something, and actual greediness, so Harry tried to step away from the whole topic. "Er . . . what was that about you not liking presents?" He shook his head. "Sorry about the ones I got you during the summer hols. I mean, that was probably just about the worst book I could have chosen for you."
"No, there are definitely worse."
"But you'd rather I didn't get you anything, is that what you were getting at?"
Severus stepped toward him and looked into his eyes. "I assure you, Harry, that I have no trouble speaking to you in direct terms. You needn't look for hidden meanings, not with me. And I'm sure I'll enjoy any gift you think to give me."
"Like you enjoyed that book?"
"Well, perhaps I enjoyed laughing at it, hmm?"
"Wonderful."
Severus clicked his teeth. "Why don't you rip apart those wrappings and see what you've got there?"
Harry would rather have opened something from Severus himself, but he thought it would sound rather demanding to say as much, so he dealt with the gift from Harriett Diggsworthy as quickly as possible. A Ravenclaw fourth-year, she was on her house's Quidditch team, but thankfully, the card attached to the gift didn't say anything about evening practises or the like. Actually, it mentioned that she was enjoying Defence. That was all right, though it sounded to Harry like she had a bit of a crush on him. Uh-oh.
"I don't believe it," said Harry weakly when he'd torn apart the wrappings. "She doesn't think I might already have a broomstick repair kit? Me, the Quidditch coach? With the way the students treat their brooms, I have to buy kits by the dozen!"
"Hogwarts should be purchasing them if that's the case."
"Oh, they are." Harry shrugged. "I guess maybe she thought I might need one just for myself. Though anybody who's been flying as long as I have would already have a personal kit."
"Perhaps you're difficult to buy for," said Severus in a meaningful tone.
Harry set the repair kit aside. "Oh. Do you really think so? Did you have trouble?"
"No, but I know you better than does Miss Diggsworthy. She knows little more than your reputation."
So what did you get me? Harry wanted to ask. He couldn't, though. Not after he'd heard Dudley ask that so many times.
"Your turn," he said instead. "I'll pop upstairs to get it."
"You wouldn't rather deal with this lot, first?" When Harry hesitated, Severus eyes acquired a kind look. "There's nothing wrong with enjoying your Christmas, Harry."
"Right. By giving instead of getting, so I'm going to go and get your present, now." Harry tried not to look as nervous as he felt. The present he'd finally got for Severus was either going to be a great success or a total dud. He just wasn't sure which.
The box he got out of the wardrobe and took downstairs was wrapped in green paper with a black ribbon, so Severus would like the colours if nothing else.
Harry thrust the package out at Severus. "I hope you like it. Er . . . I meant, Merry Christmas."
"And to you," murmured Severus as he neatly removed ribbon and wrappings. When he opened the box, though, his forehead wrinkled. "Ah . . . did you by chance forget something, Harry?"
This, Harry had to admit, was the fun part. "No, no, I put it in there. Maybe you should look a little harder."
"I don't see anything . . ." Severus peered into the box, and finally thrust a hand inside. His expression changed as he pulled something out. Something invisible. One eyebrow raised, he began to run his hands over the surface of the item.
Harry knew the exact moment when Severus realised exactly what it was that he held. His eyes began to gleam, even as his hands shifted to cradle the object more carefully.
"A transparent cauldron, eh? You got me a transparent cauldron?"
Harry beamed. By then, he could tell that he'd done all right. "No Potions master should be without one, I thought."
"But how did you . . ." Severus cleared his throat. "I've read of these, of course, but they're still in the testing stage. I'd heard they might go on sale sometime during the New Year. Brewers all over Europe are clamouring for one, but they're still impossible to get. So how did you . . ."
Harry flushed. "Oh. Well, I don't usually do this, you know. I don't like to do it, but for this . . ." He lifted his shoulders a little. "I told them they could use my name."
"First customer?"
Harry winced. "Yeah. In the adverts. It was the only way to get you one for Christmas. And I couldn't think of anything else to give you at all. But I did think you'd really love this. You're supposed to be able to fine-tune your brews 'cause you can see the colour all the way down, instead of just on top, and you know how glass cauldrons crack? That's pewter made invisible so it's guaranteed not to, and they swear that the invisibility spells won't interfere with any potions except a couple of rarely-brewed varieties--"
The way Severus was looking at him made Harry realise he was babbling. Well, Severus probably knew all this. If he'd wanted a transparent cauldron already, he'd have looked into the matter.
"Well, glad you like it," Harry finished, smiling because Severus was still running his hands all over the invisible surface, the motions almost lover-like. Actually, seeing that made Harry's cock twitch a little. It wanted all those attentive caresses. Well, he was sure he'd get some later. When he bottomed for Severus again.
Harry tried to look forward to it, but really, his mood was more one of resignation. It was all right. He could do it.
"I more than 'like' it," said Severus, smiling a little more broadly. "I can't think of a better present."
Harry could. He'd wanted Severus' real Christmas present to be Harry climaxing while he was bottoming. Severus would really like that, Harry was sure. He'd love it, in fact. And he'd be fully satisfied, finally. And their powers would cross completely.
That was what Harry had wanted to get Severus for Christmas. A much better present than a cauldron could ever be. Even the world's most amazing cauldron.
But Harry had given up on that present. It just wasn't going to happen.
"I really do appreciate the cauldron," said Severus, sounding earnest. Oh. Harry had probably been letting his disappointment with the other thing show, and Severus had misunderstood. "Especially considering what you had to do to obtain one."
Setting the cauldron carefully aside, Severus leaned down to kiss Harry softly on the lips, then pulled away slightly to whisper, "I'm almost inclined to say that I'll be brewing so much now that you'll seldom see me, but that wouldn't be true. You're more tempting than any cauldron could ever be."
Wow. From Severus, that almost qualified as . . . sweet nothings, or something. Harry wasn't sure what to say in return.
"Thanks," he said, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Um . . . so, do you have some other ones to open? From Albus, or . . .?"
"He always gets me a subscription to a rare wines of the world programme."
Harry nodded. "All right. So should I . . ."
"By all means. I can't imagine why you're so reluctant."
Harry shrugged, unwilling to think about Christmases past any further. He should just try to enjoy this one.
That became less likely, though, when he began to plough through the presents. Really, Severus was right when he said that most students had very little imagination. How many self-inking quills and writing tablets did one person need, not to mention knick-knacks featuring Snitches?
And where was his present from Severus, eh? That was what Harry wanted to know. He was sure the other man's gift would be a more imaginative one than he'd seen so far.
And it was, but not in the way Harry thought at first.
"Oh, here it is!" said Harry brightly when he reached the bottom of the pile. Written across the ribbon was a simple note, From Severus. Use liberally.
Clearly, the paper was wrapped around a bottle of some sort. A potion? To use liberally?
Curious, Harry unwrapped it. It turned out not to be a homemade potion at all, but something that had been purchased. When Harry turned it around far enough to read the label though, his heart sank into his toes.
For the discriminating wizard: Happy Bottoming Lubricant and Salve, scented with green apple and raspberry, guaranteed to enhance his pleasure.
Lubricant? Severus had given Harry lubricant? For Christmas?
He didn't know whether to throw it to the stone floor in anger, or shout first and do that afterwards. Harry had heard of some selfish gifts, like the time Uncle Vernon had given Aunt Petunia a new vacuum for her birthday, but this took the cake. Guaranteed to enhance his pleasure, ha. Guaranteed to enhance Severus' pleasure, that was what that meant! And since when was a present supposed to be all about what the giver would like, instead of what the recipient might prefer?
But of course with Cambiare Podentes, what Severus wanted was all that mattered, Harry thought, frowning. A good slave would probably be over the moon, getting this present, since he was supposed to only care about Severus' pleasure, wasn't he . . .
Harry felt like flopping into a chair and just giving up on the whole fucking thing. Yeah, Merry Christmas.
Merry fucking Christmas.
Literally.
Severus' voice broke into his thoughts. "You . . . you look a bit bothered by something. I . . ." He actually took a step backwards. "Did I mistake the situation? You don't care for the idea?"
Harry glanced up, about to hurl a few home truths at Severus. Such as, no, I don't care for the idea. You know I only bottom to please you, so why would I want my Christmas present to be something to stick up my arse? Don't I get you shoved in there often enough to suit you, already?
The look on Severus' face, though, wiped the words right out of Harry. He wasn't sure what could make Severus look the way he did just then. Uncertain. Vulnerable, even. Like he was afraid of what Harry might say next. Like he was afraid of rejection.
None of which made any sense, considering how well-aware Severus was that Harry would bottom for him, as often as he wanted. Every day, twice a day . . . Harry would do it, if it meant they'd finally end up crossing powers.
"I just thought . . ." Harry re-thought his words and started over, deciding he'd better not mention how crass the present was. A gift was a gift, after all, and it wasn't like Severus had probably had a lot of practice at sharing Christmas with someone. "I'm sure it's really good salve, Severus. I'm just surprised you'd think we need another. I mean, the ones we have already work fine, don't they?"
Something in Severus' expression seemed to clear. In fact, Harry could almost swear that something had gone click inside the other man's mind. All at once, Severus looked a good deal more alert.
"Ah. Well. You've misunderstood my intent, it seems. Harry . . . the salve isn't for you. It's for me."
Harry thought later that he probably should have got it, then. It wasn't as though the concept itself were so difficult, after all. It was, however, something he'd ruled out, a long, long time ago.
"Er . . . if it's for you, why'd you wrap it up to give to me?"
He knew he'd sounded daft from the way Severus' gaze softened a little. Though when Severus did speak, his voice sounded offhand. Like he didn't care one way or the other. "I thought perhaps you might like to use it on me. Tonight, perhaps."
Even then, it took a moment for the penny to drop. "Oh . . ."
"Yes, oh."
For all he'd had sex with Severus dozens and dozens of times by then, Harry could still be shy, he found out. "You . . . really? Because I thought . . . um . . ."
"What did you think?"
Harry tried for a nonchalant tone, since by then he was aware that he'd probably been making a massive fool of himself, assuming the gift was rude when in fact it was . . . well, pretty considerate, actually. "Well, I thought you didn't do that. Bottom, I mean."
Oh God, he was sounding more brainless all the time. Bottom, I mean. Of course that was what he'd meant!
Severus took his hand and pulled him out of the chair and over to the settee, sitting down close alongside him. Three long, slow kisses later, Harry was feeling less self-conscious.
Not to mention aroused.
Severus pulled back a little, smiling. And no wonder; it was only then that Harry realised he was still clutching the bottle of salve. Severus plucked it from his hand and set it to the side.
"I suppose I can understand your thinking I didn't bottom," he said slowly, moving his hands to tuck his hair back behind his ears. "The subject hasn't really come up, has it?"
Harry nodded, the motion vigorous.
"That's likely because I do much prefer to top," added Severus. "Many wizards have a preference for one role or the other, but it's actually quite rare for even a natural top to never be the man on the bottom, so to speak."
That was news to Harry. He'd sort of assumed that if a man liked to top, he'd find one that always wanted to bottom--hard as that was to imagine--and that would be that. Right along with that thought had been a more depressing one: that in this relationship Harry was stuck on the bottom even if it wasn't the kind of sex he liked best or would prefer.
In fact, Harry had long since resigned himself to the idea that the closest he was ever going to come to a proper fuck was frottage. And while frottage was hot and exciting, it wasn't really a fuck at all, was it?
And now to find out that Severus was willing to bottom?
"Any reason you never mentioned this until now?" Harry asked, feeling a little annoyed.
Severus leaned back a little. "The short answer, I suppose, is that I was waiting for you to ask."
Harry very nearly gaped. "Ask? Ask? For fuck's sake, Severus! Why would I ask when it never once occurred to me that you did that?"
"It didn't occur to me, until recently, that that might be why you hadn't asked." Severus shrugged. "I should have realised earlier that your background would be a limiting factor."
"My background, again?"
"Yes. You probably think the man on the bottom can't switch to the top, because you're thinking of the bottom as his permanent role." Severus tilted his head to one side. "Rather like how a woman, barring invasive surgery, will always remain a woman."
Harry frowned. He didn't like to hear the comparison put so baldly. But it was basically accurate, wasn't it? "Well, lying there flat on my back, letting you . . . er, have your way with me . . . it is sort of womanish, you know."
Severus sighed. "I didn't say that the man on the bottom was analogous to a woman."
Harry's forehead wrinkled. "You didn't?"
"No. You did, though."
Oh, God. Another one of those conversations. "Do we need to get some ale and mead in here?" he tried joking, more uncomfortable than before. Because of coursebottoming was womanish! The man on the bottom was getting fucked, wasn't he? He wasn't the one getting to thrust inside--
Severus' voice abruptly dropped, sounding deeper and somehow more intense. "Harry, being on the bottom is no less masculine than being on top."
Harry turned his face away. "Sure it isn't."
"No, it isn't."
That time, Harry didn't even bother scoffing.
"Look at me," said Severus, and waited until Harry did. "I don't want perfumed breasts jiggling beneath me as I push into you. I want you, your hard cock in my hand, your taut muscles gleaming with sweat. I want your come squirting into my hand. It's not womanish at all, what you do beneath me."
All right, at that, Harry did scoff. "Yeah, well it's not all that masculine, is it now? Far as I can recall, I haven't once come. Not while you were in me."
"No, you haven't," said Severus slowly. "But I think we both know why that is. You were made to feel . . . powerless, once. Not a very arousing thing to feel, and it was probably made worse by the idea I unintentionally fostered . . . this idea that you would always have to be the bottom when we make love. You won't."
Harry still felt miffed he'd been misled, and that I was waiting for you to ask was a lame excuse, if you asked him. "Define won't," he said, voice harsh.
Severus took his hands, a gesture Harry didn't much appreciate at the moment. "I've bottomed before, and while it's not the role I most relish, I'm perfectly happy to do it on occasion. I've pledged myself to meet your needs, don't you see? All your needs, Harry. If you want to top me--"
"If I want?" asked Harry, incredulously. Something clicked inside his own mind, then. "Oh. Oh . . . that's why you were waiting for me to ask, because you thought I might not want to? Want you?"
He knew even before he'd finished speaking that he had Severus dead to rights. It was all there in the way the man stiffened, the way his hands clenched, even as they still held Harry's. And then Severus said, hoarsely, "It's one thing for you learn to accept my touch. You've done that without reservation, overcoming obstacles that would have stopped many other men. That's Gryffindor determination, I suppose. It's something else to expect that you would want to . . . penetrate me, when I know you've always imagined yourself performing that act with a witch."
Not always, thought Harry, thinking of Richard, watching Harry eat ice-cream . . . or the way he'd begun fantasising about David Bryerson. Harry didn't do that any longer, of course. Looking back, the infatuation seemed rather silly to him, when all the time he'd had Severus . . .
Severus, who was still speaking. "A pretty, young witch, instead of . . ." His voice fell off to almost nothing, then.
Harry shook his head. "You think I don't know by now that I'm gay, Severus? That I want men-- er, a man, I mean?"
"You told me yourself you wouldn't, if the spell hadn't forced you into it."
That didn't sound right to Harry. Well . . . maybe he had said something like that, early on, back before he'd figured himself out. But he knew better, now.
"But then, it was just because I'd never have even thought about the other possibilities," he argued, earnestly. "The salve . . . it's a good gift, really. I would like to, er, you know. Top you."
"Why?"
Harry blinked. "Why? Why do you think?"
"Because you'll feel like a man, finally. Never mind that you are one no matter how we arrange sex between us."
"No, because I like your bare arse when you walk, prat!"
"Do you?"
"Yeah, I really do--" Harry smiled, shaking his head a little. "I walked right into that, didn't I?"
"You did, rather."
Harry smiled wider, deciding he didn't even resent the trick. Not when it was so obvious that Severus needed some reassurance. It couldn't be nice to think that someone wanted to fuck you without really wanting you. Actually, it wasn't nice. Harry knew that first-hand. He remembered how awful it had been to think that Severus only wanted him because of some revenge-against-James fantasy. "Yeah, your bare arse," Harry repeated. "I do like it. I think it's sexy. All lean and hard with just the right amount of cheek. Just enough to grab and hold onto, you know? And guess what else? I have a feeling my cock'll just love being inside your arse. Not that I'd know, yet, but anyway, you can't blame me for thinking that topping you'll be fun."
"So, you do want to."
It was all Harry could do not to grab a cushion and bean Severus with it. Instead, he leaned forward, all the way forward, pushing the other man down onto his back, with Harry lying on top of him. Then he kissed Severus, long and hard, moving his hips against him in a steady, thrusting rhythm. "Oh, yes," he said when he lifted his head. "I want to. I just want to check, though . . . you said I could be on top on occasion, right? Well, how often is that? Suppose I really like my sex that way?"
Severus' nostrils flared a little. "You're going to like it perfectly well both ways. We're getting there."
"But if I like topping a lot more, like you do?"
"Until the Dark Lord is dead and gone, my own preferences will have to hold sway," said Severus, his hand trailing down Harry's cheek. "You know why. As long as we need the crossed powers that Cambiare Podentes will lend you, my wishes are necessarily more important than your own. But between us, things are not that way. Once you've killed the Dark Lord, we'll have only ourselves to please."
Harry glanced through his fringe, at Severus. "You'll let me top a lot?"
Severus reached up and pressed a kiss to Harry's forehead. "Of course. We're lovers first; don't ever forget that. Besides . . ." Severus smiled, a little mischievously.
"Besides?"
"You'll let me top a lot, too. Won't you?"
Harry laughed. "Oh, yes. Because we're lovers, right. I get it." Rolling off Severus, then, Harry reached over to the table and grabbed the bottle of salve. "This is really a brilliant Christmas gift, then. Use liberally . . . I should have got it sooner."
"Yes, well I mean that in earnest," murmured Severus as he sat up and straightened his clothes. "It's been a while since I bottomed for anyone."
Not since Voldemort, Harry thought almost at once, though of course he didn't know any such thing. He wasn't going to ask for specifics, though. He didn't want to know. And more importantly, perhaps, was the feeling that was swamping him now. He didn't need to know, because Severus was his, now.
"So, how'd you pick this salve, anyway? We could just use the same ones as usual--"
"I thought something special for your first time would be a good idea. And I like the scent."
Harry uncorked the bottle and sniffed. Pretty strong scent, he thought. Tangy, almost. Masculine. "So, bedroom?" he suggested, waggling his eyebrows up and down. "I don't think I can wait."
"You don't want to open the rest of your presents?"
Harry rolled his eyes. "More student drek? Look, I appreciate the thought, I guess, but I've already got the best Christmas present a bloke could ask for."
"Not even this one?" Severus withdrew a thin envelope from a trouser pocket.
Harry stared. "Oh. Bollocks. I only got you the one thing, you know."
"Oh yes, and it was almost nothing," said Severus, his eyes flashing. "A cauldron that would be the envy of any brewer, and that only cost what? Your name?Compared to a ten-Galleon bottle of salve, yes, that's hardly even worth mentioning."
Harry held up the salve. "Oh, yeah. And this has only monetary value, of course."
Severus smiled. "Someone's been teaching you sarcasm."
"Wonder who?"
"As charming as your witty repartee can be, at this point I'd like you to actually accept my gift," drawled Severus.
Harry grinned and took it. "Oh!" he exclaimed. "A gift certificate to a men's wear shop? You don't think I have enough formal clothes?"
"I picked them all out for you, which didn't delight you at the time, as I recall. That should remedy the situation. And in case you still feel you don't really know enough about formal clothes to select your own, the shop has excellent staff to assist you."
"That's really considerate, Severus. Thank you." Some imp inside Harry couldn't leave it at that. "So you won't mind, then, if I buy new dress robes in Gryffindor colours?"
"Oh, no, certainly I won't mind," said Severus, dark humour lurking in his voice. "All the more reason to strip you naked, sooner."
Harry laughed and tossed the certificate to the table, before grabbing Severus' hands and pulling him toward the bedroom.
Friday, December 25, 1998 ---- 11:19 a.m.
As soon as they were in the bedroom, Harry remembered something. "Oh. Er . . . forgot the bottle. Be right back."
Harry didn't like the feeling he had as he walked back to get it, like this was getting off to a bad start already. Forgetting the salve . . . it was going to look like he didn't have any idea what to do!
And he did know what to do. God knows Severus had done it often enough to him. He just hadn't done it before, but he didn't want it to seem like he was fumbling his way around and needed to be tutored or something.
Grabbing the bottle, Harry strode back toward the bedroom, determined on one thing: he wasn't going to act like some shy, ridiculous virgin when he got back to Severus. He was going to enjoy himself, damn it. Thoroughly. It was about time he got a chance to be the man on top, after all.
Severus was sitting on the bed, still clothed, when Harry walked in. Harry was kind of anxious to get down to business. His pants felt tight and scratchy, like his cock was demanding to be freed, now. And really, Harry thought he probably could just demand that Severus strip and they get on with it. Severus wouldn't say a word in protest; he was obviously back to letting Harry lead.
Harry was a better lover than that, though. A lot better. Well, he should be. He'd had a great teacher.
So he set the salve down on the night table, and drew his wand to arrange the room a bit better. The scattered candles flared to life as the other lights dimmed. There, that was better.
Sitting down next to Severus, Harry twisted sideways so he could wrap his arms around the other man's neck. He tugged slightly, just enough so that their lips met, and started kissing Severus. Not like he'd been kissing him lately, either. This time, Harry wasn't trying to become aroused because he knew he'd soon be spreading his thighs for Severus, because he had to try his best to come. No, this kiss was one of desire already roaring to life.
Harry wanted Severus to know how much Harry wanted him.
Kissing, of course, just made Harry want him all the more. "Mmm," said Harry, drawing back slightly so he could speak against the other man's lips. "This is going to be brilliant. I can tell. And just for the record, if you have any more great sex ideas, don't wait around seeing if I'll read your mind and ask, eh?"
Severus looked a little bit startled. Harry wasn't sure what had surprised him. The request itself, or Harry's forthright manner? Well, how many times had Severus said he didn't really want a slave? Even the contract said that Harry was supposed to be himself.
And he might not have topped before, but he knew what he was about, all the same.
When Severus began undoing the long row of tiny buttons across his own chest, Harry batted the man's hands away. "You're mine, remember? I get to do that."
Several hundred buttons later--seemed like it, anyway--Harry peeled back black fabric to reveal the pale, smooth skin beneath. He ran his hands over Severus' chest, playing with his nipples a little, liking the way Severus' breathing would hitch when Harry pulled on them.
Eventually, though, he had to finish taking Severus' shirt off.
Trousers next, of course, and pants, Harry's mouth watering as more and more of Severus came into view. Finally, the man was bare-arsed naked, sitting back down next to Harry, who didn't want to rush things. Oh, he was randy enough to, certainly, but he wanted to savour the experience.
Particularly considering it wasn't going to happen every day, what with the need to cross powers and this not being Severus' absolute favourite when it came to making love.
For someone who didn't prefer to bottom, though, he was certainly being cooperative, Harry thought. Hmm, maybe if Harry did this right, did it really well, Severus would like it more than he usually did. Enough to bottom a lot more than he'd planned.
That would be brilliant. Harry didn't want to have to be the one on the bottom all the time. Or even most of the time. And now, learning that he would get the chance to top occasionally . . .
Well, he was going to do everything he could to make sure Severus had every reason to like having Harry on top.
Harry didn't want to ask any questions; he thought it would make him look like a clumsy oaf. He did, however, have to ask one.
"Your Happy Bottoming Lubricant . . . that's all right to use as a backrub lotion, isn't it?"
Severus raised an eyebrow. "Yes, though you might consider taking your shirt off, first."
Harry laughed and gently pushed against the other man's shoulder, urging him to scoot back on the bed. "Very funny. The salve's for you, remember? Now, roll onto your stomach and relax."
Severus did, though he murmured, "I'm quite happy bottoming, Harry. You don't need to lead up to it slowly if you'd prefer--"
"What happened to there's value in anticipation?" interrupted Harry. "Hmm? You just . . . er, stop trying to top from the bottom, Severus."
A noise that sounded vaguely like choking. "Where did you learn a phrase like that?"
Harry chuckled as he toed off his shoes. Throwing a leg over Severus' thighs to straddle him, he admitted, "It was in a book I read once. You know, I don't think I got it at the time, but it makes sense, now. Now, relax like I said. I'll take care of everything."
He knew how to give a backrub, of course. In fact, he knew that he was really pretty good at it. Harry spread the salve liberally, the tang of green apple rising into the air, and then leaned on his palms, pressing hard into the small of Severus' back.
"Ah . . ."
Harry barely heard the noise of pleasure, and that certainly wouldn't do. "Don't hold back," he said, pressing harder still. "I want to hear you. Actually, I'm going to need to hear you, right? To know what you like and how you like it. You shouldn't try to be so quiet when we make love, anyway, you know. What do you think I'm going to do, make fun of you or something?"
Severus moaned a little louder, then. It sounded a little forced to Harry. Like the man was trying too hard.
"It's just a habit with me," he said a moment later. "I learned caution . . . early on."
Harry took that to mean that Severus had been with some wizard or other that had ridiculed him. What kind of arse would do that, Harry wondered, but the answer wasn't so very difficult to figure out, was it, Severus being in Slytherin.
"Well, you don't need caution, now," said Harry, pushing away the vague images stealing into his mind. Images of a younger Severus still attending school here, another wizard at his side as they searched out dark corners. He didn't want to think about Severus with someone else. Or about Severus being treated badly, either. "You're with me, now. You're mine, remember? And I love to listen to you, Severus. When you make some noise and I know it's me giving you that pleasure . . . well, it's sexy as hell."
Severus gave a very slight nod as he lay there.
Harry went back to the backrub, teasing out this spot of tension and that, until it seemed to him that Severus was practically melting into the bedcovers.
Meanwhile, Harry was about as hard as a man could possibly get. Mmm. Probably he should get undressed himself; it was a bit silly to still be fully clothed as he straddled Severus, but somehow, Harry liked the feeling of Severus being the only one naked. It was like Harry really was the top; he wasn't the one who was stripped bare and helpless.
Not this time.
So Harry was going to keep his clothes on as long as he could. It just seemed . . . masculine, somehow. Shifting back a little bit, and thrust experimentally against Severus' lean buttocks. The friction was delicious. Unbearable, even, since Harry knew it was just a teaser to what was coming next. Harry quickly moved off of Severus.
"Roll over, then," he said, lightly slapping the other man's hip.
Severus started to, then paused.
"What?"
Severus pushed up on his hands and knees, then craned his neck to look sideways at Harry. "I like this position, actually."
Harry swept his gaze back and forth along the line of Severus' back, parallel to the bed. Part of him felt shocked that anybody could like that position. Harry had nothing but bad memories of something similar.
"You don't want to look at me?" he asked, his erection trying to do two things at once. Wilt, of course, because he'd just thought of that room in London, and what had happened there. But there was Severus' arse, up in the air, on display, looking . . . inviting, Harry thought. Tempting. And so his cock tried to lengthen, too.
All in all, the end result was very confusing.
"I think you know how much I like to look at you," said Severus, his voice thick. "At all times, and most especially during sex. But as for bottoming . . . I do like this angle. If you'd rather not have me like this, however . . ."
"No, it's all right," said Harry, swallowing. His cock had won the argument with his memory, anyway. And if Severus liked this . . . well, it still struck him as very odd, but then again, plenty of men did use this position. He'd seen as much in those books, hadn't he?
Harry peeled off his socks and quickly shucked off the rest of his clothes, though he kept his wand on the bed with him. He laid his glasses on the night table and grabbed the bottle of salve again, smearing more onto his hands and then rubbing them all over Severus' arse cheeks, just to heighten the anticipation.
The other man remained quiet--though he had got a bit more vocal during the backrub--until the edge of Harry's hand slipped into the crack of his arse. Then he hissed in a breath, but it was clearly a noise of pleasure, not pain or fear.
Even so, Harry found himself asking, "You like that?"
"Oh, yes," said Severus, his voice not quite gasping, but not far off, either. "But it has been a while for me, so be sure to stretch me--"
Harry's slap against Severus' hip that time was a little less playful. "Yeah, got it."
Before starting, though, Harry picked up his wand and tried to cast the cleansing spell Severus always used. He wasn't sure it had worked, though. "Did you feel a tingle?"
Severus shook his head, arching his back a little like his arse was searching for Harry's hand again. Harry couldn't help but smile at that. But, first things first. He tried the cleansing spell again, putting a little more force into the way he twisted his wrist as he moved his wand. There, that was better. It had looked a lot more like Severus' casting, that time.
And he didn't need to ask if Severus had felt the tingle, either. It was all there in the way the other man suddenly spread his thighs more, like he knew he was ready, now.
Well, ready to be stretched, at any rate.
Harry's fingers were trembling a little as he dribbled more salve onto them. One hand on Severus' hip, his palm connecting with the contour of hard bone, Harry leaned forward and dragged his wet fingers along Severus' crack until they rested against the puckered entrance to his body. Harry traced it, his index finger swirling 'round and 'round, exploring. It felt . . . odd. Not really like anything he'd ever felt, before.
But he liked it, and Severus was obviously appreciating the soft caress. His breathing changed tone, becoming deeper. Raspier. And then, as Harry pressed a finger inward, it sounded like he was holding his breath.
Severus let it out in a whoosh when Harry's finger popped past the entrance and went into him. He didn't exactly gibber, the way Harry had that once, but he did moan a little, which of course encouraged Harry to push in deeper.
He was a little startled when Severus pushed back against him. Harry's finger ended up buried in tight arse, all the way to the base. And yes, Severus did have a tight arse. Harry hadn't really thought much about how it would feel to do this . . . he'd been a lot more interested in how it would feel on his cock. Pressing his finger inside, though, was like getting an advance sense of that. Severus clenched around him, and Harry felt a zing travel straight along his arm and then down into his cock.
Because, of course, his cock was the part of him that wanted to be caressed like that. Hugged like that, even.
Oh, yes, Severus was tight. Harry liked it.
But the point here was to stretch Severus' arse out a bit, he abruptly remembered, not enjoy the way Severus was arching against his hand as if seeking more of it. With that thought in mind, Harry moved his finger more vigorously, levering it up and down, then side to side, feeling the smooth passageway all around.
He wanted to grasp Severus firmly by the hips and sink into him, all the way into him, but one finger wasn't much preparation for a man's cock, and Severus had always been very considerate to stretch Harry thoroughly--well, not lately, since Harry was pretty limber down there, these days--but at any rate, Severus probably needed more than a finger first, so Harry pulled his hand back and stretched out his middle finger too.
This time he was less patient about the matter, twisting his hand this way and that, trying his best for Severus.
He lost his patience completely, however, when his middle finger brushed against a hard spot inside Severus, one that caused the man to stiffen from head to toe, his moans now hitting a higher note. It sounded almost like pain, that noise, but Harry knew better. He remembered. A noise like that came from only one thing--pleasure so intense that it very nearly bordered on pain.
Grinning--he was turning out to be all right at topping, he thought--Harry reached down, bending slightly so he could catch Severus' cock in his free hand. Hard, long, the tip weeping with need . . . Harry's grin widened. Oh, yes. This was great fun. He wanted to drive Severus wild with need, and then, wild with satisfaction.
This time, when Harry stroked his finger against Severus' prostate, he squeezed the man's cock, moving his hand along it from base to tip as he applied pressure.
And Severus actually groaned. Not an inarticulate groan, either. Harry could make out words in there. Well, one word. Sounded like more.
Harry gave him what he was asking for, but really, once more was all he could stand. Much more of this and he'd be reaching a hand down to rub himself off. Would probably only take ten seconds before he came, too.
Which brought up a good point, Harry suddenly thought. He wanted to sink himself balls-deep into Severus, right now, but he didn't want to disgrace himself by coming before he'd finished his first stroke!
No, he wanted to enjoy himself for a good, long while.
And he wanted Severus to enjoy it, too. Things were certainly looking good in that department, as long as Harry didn't come before he'd ever properly got started.
"More," said Severus again, the word thick. Panting, almost. "You--"
Harry needed no more invitation than that. Withdrawing his fingers, he coated his straining cock with salve and pushed the tip of it against Severus' entrance. One quick push popped him inside.
Ah, God. Harry really had nothing to compare this to, except a blowjob, but this wasn't really anything like that. It was tighter, with a lot more friction, although not enough to be in any sense uncomfortable. And it was wet, but a different kind of wet than being in Severus' mouth. There was no tongue here to lick and tease him, to bring him off.
No . . . Harry was in charge, now. Fully in charge. It was up to him how hard he thrust, how fast.
The thought of it almost made Harry dizzy. For the first time in his life, he thought he could actually understand the idea of going mad with power. He could see it now, could see how that could happen, how being in control like this, could be intoxicating.
Grabbing both Severus' hips, Harry jerked forward again, burying himself to the hilt.
If fucking had been good before, now it was just plain unbelievable. Pleasure flooded through his cock, wave after wave of it, but then Severus bore down on it a little, and the feeling crested. So intense. Harry heard himself start moaning. Loudly.
He very nearly did come, right then and there, on his first stroke. The heat, the pressure, the control . . . it was almost too much for him.
Harry saved himself from utter disgrace only by quickly thinking about Hermione. Yeah, talking to Hermione out by the lake, and how embarrassed he'd been. Uh-oh.Even that wasn't enough to really help him calm down so this could last, so Harry redoubled his mental efforts. Hermione . . . er-- Ron and Hermione, having sex. Naked sex.
All right, that was enough. Harry's cock relaxed just a little, then, just enough for Harry to feel he was getting back in control of his reflexes. Good, good. Yeah, he could keep on, now.
Harry pulled out and pushed back in, and as he did, Severus gave a little gasping moan.
It was only then, really, that Harry remembered that he had someone else besides himself to think of, here. Strange how he could have lost track of that, when withoutthat other person none of this would be possible, but the sheer physical pleasure of burying his cock deep inside a tight arse had really taken him by storm.
But Severus, yeah. Harry did want this to be good for Severus. Well, as good as it could be, considering that bottoming wasn't Severus' favourite thing. Harry could relate to that, since he didn't think it was all that great, either. But he really should try to make sure that Severus had the best time possible.
Just like Severus always tried to do for Harry.
"How's that?" gasped Harry as he pushed in again, setting up a steady rhythm then. In, out. Push, pull. Every motion dragging tight skin against his cock and making him almost grit his teeth to keep from coming. Yeah, this was nothing like a blowjob. That was almost gentle in comparison. But this . . . Harry could really let rip, at any moment.
He could pound Severus into the mattress.
He could, and would, since that was apparently what Severus wanted, too. "Harder," said the other man, sounding desperate for it. "Harder. Cock, yes, take my cock--"
Harry leaned down, his chest resting against Severus' back, and reached underneath Severus' body to take his cock in hand.
Severus shuddered and started moving differently, his hips undulating in a way that caused his cock to slide back and forth within Harry's cupped hand. And then he jerked his head up and made a sound like air whistling through clenched teeth.
Harry abruptly went still, not understanding.
Severus wasn't having that, not for a second. "No, more! Move! Harder," he said, and by the end that time, his tone was close to begging. He rolled his hips again, and made the same high whistling noise, and then, Harry knew the truth.
Well, two truths.
That rolling motion was angling Severus' arse just right so that Harry's cock was stroking Severus' prostate.
And . . .
The man on the bottom, in this case at least, wasn't going to just lie there and be filled. Not that Harry had really done that with Severus; he'd tried to participate. But he'd done it because that was what Severus had wanted.
But Severus, here, now . . . he was participating to please himself. He was enjoying this. Every bit of this. And more than that . . . Severus was controlling what was going on here, too, in a sense.
Harry felt a low shudder course through him, starting with his toes and moving up and up until it seemed like he had goose-pimples raising themselves along his nape. Severus was still rolling his hips, still gasping, his cock sliding through Harry's fingers, his every movement somehow jerkier than the moment before. Insistent. Desperate.
And then, all at once, Severus' arms collapsed beneath him, his head falling heavily to the mattress, and his cock began pulsing, spurting warm come across Harry's fingers.
That felt so good that Harry felt himself swept up into it, soaring higher and higher on a crest of pleasure, like when a wind billowed just under your broom and you rode on it straight up into the clouds.
"Aaaaah!" groaned Harry, his own climax coming hard and fast. And deep. Deep inside Severus, inside his lover.
Like Sex Magic, bonding them more tightly to one another than before.
Afterwards, Harry didn't want to move. His cock was softening, so Harry thrust his hips forward again, trying to stay buried, to stay connected. It was just too good, all of it. He could stay here all day and night, just lightly running his hands across Severus' shoulders, caressing them.
"Harry . . ."
"Mmmm?" Harry leaned down further and lay his torso across Severus' back. The other man's contours were hard, but somehow comfortable. Harry felt so relaxed and happy, he decided he could probably go straight to sleep.
"My knees are really starting to ache."
Oh. Well, that certainly broke the mood, but Harry didn't really mind. Rolling off, he scooped up his wand and cast a few cleansing spells. They sprayed out in all directions, a little haphazardly, which was probably a reflection of his mood. He just felt . . . languid, and it only got better when Severus rolled onto his back and pulled Harry up against him, the two of them lying cuddled together, Harry's head on Severus' shoulder.
"Wow," Harry finally said, closing his eyes. He almost saw stars, even now. "That was, wow. Intense. I knew topping would be good, but, well, I knew it would be great, but that was fantastic. Fan-fucking-tastic, from start to finish." The rest came out before he could stop it. "Um, I didn't finish too soon, did I? I mean, I wanted it to last, but then you came and, well, that was it."
"Very, very satisfactory," drawled Severus.
"For a first time?"
"Did I say that?"
"There you go again, not answering the question."
Severus pulled him a little bit closer. "I wouldn't have known it was your first time, if you were a new man I'd just met."
That made Harry almost preen, except for one thing. "Yeah, well you aren't meeting any new men, Severus. Not like that."
"You did hear the operative word? If?"
But Harry had already gone on to something else. "And I can top you again, sometime?"
"Of course."
"Sometime soon?"
The skin around Severus eyes crinkled, like he was trying to repress an indulgent smile. "Yes, of course. It obviously makes you happy."
Talk about understatement! "Later on today, say? You did say tonight, when you gave me the salve." Stretching, Harry gave a loud yawn. "You know, this is the best Christmas ever, Severus. I mean that. Best gift, ever ever ever."
"Now, you can't properly claim that," said Severus in a droll tone. "Not when there are still unopened presents sitting out for you. Perhaps one of them will top this."
"Nothing can top topping. No way."
Harry felt rather than heard Severus give a slight sigh. "You do remember what I said, earlier?"
"Oh, on occasion. Yeah, I get it. Don't worry. I know what we have to do." Harry yawned again, but he thought it must be some kind of reflex, since he wasn't all that sleepy. Actually, he was starting to feel a bit peckish.
Or more than a bit, he thought when his stomach actually rumbled. "We can worry about that later, though. Let's order some brunch!"
"We just had breakfast--"
"I didn't eat much and I've burned it all off," said Harry grinning. "I bet you know how. And guess what? I'm going to order a huge meal, so I have plenty of energy for later!"
Severus kissed him, then. "Merry Christmas, Harry."
Harry kissed him back. "A very merry Christmas, Severus."