nový př 7
Saturday, October 16, 1998 ---- 9:11 p.m.
Severus scowled at himself in the mirror, his finger poking again at the bruise forming on his cheek. Harry did know how to land a blow. Not that Severus had deserved one, particularly. He hadn't done anything wrong.
Harry clearly thought he had, though. And that certainly complicated matters. Severus sighed a little, thinking about it.
In a way, this development with Harry--enthusiastic sex, at last--was well-timed. Severus had already concluded, earlier that day, that Renard wasn't what he really wanted. Even a Renard Polyjuiced to look like Harry was a poor substitute for the real thing.
It wasn't that his time in the brothel had been flawed in some way. It just hadn't been entirely satisfying. Severus had walked home from Hogsmeade, shaking his head at times as he remembered how he hadn't been able to fully enjoy his time in the brothel. He'd kept looking at Harry's face and figure and thinking, but this isn't really Harry. I want Harry.
Maybe it's the lack of a nipple ring jolting me out of the fantasy, Severus had even considered. I could ask Renard to wear one while he's with me . . .
But he'd discarded that idea almost at once. He knew the missing nipple ring wasn't really the problem. It was something deeper. He wanted Harry, in every way. His particular turn of speech, even including the immature and even inconsiderate things that sometimes crossed his lips. He wanted Harry's youth and relative innocence. Renard could pretend, but he was in his mid-twenties. He wasn't really Harry's age.
He wasn't really Harry.
For all that, Severus hadn't been sure, as he'd walked back to the castle, that he wouldn't go to see Renard again. He'd simply known that never again would he expect the encounter to be fully satisfying on every level. A release of pent-up need, yes. A pleasurable release, far more so than could be had through masturbation. But it wouldn't be everything he wanted.
No . . . Harry was that.
The sex they'd just had was proof of that. It had been rushed, of course. Over far too quickly, and neither one of them had been properly undressed. But for all that, it had been far more satisfying, and more complete, than the morning and afternoon he'd spent with Renard.
Harry had really wanted him. Had been frantic with it. Harry had been possessive, saying again and again that Severus was his. He'd even made Severus say it. Harry had been passionate. Enthusiastic. And not a bit of that had been feigned.
Severus stepped into the shower and soaped himself, washing his hair for good measure. Anything that might give him an advantage in the conversation still to come. The fact that he and Harry had finally had mutually enjoyable sex, that Harry had finally overcome his reluctance . . . well, that hardly solved everything, considering.
Harry was furious with him, and Severus didn't want him to be. Not just because all that anger would probably keep Harry out of his bed for a good long while. He also didn't like knowing what lay behind the anger.
He'd hurt Harry. Betrayed him -- though he hadn't, really. But it seemed that Harry thought he had. Severus wasn't quite certain how to set it all to rights, though now that Harry was ready for sex, it went without saying that Severus wouldn't be visiting Renard, or any other prostitute, again. Or maybe it didn't go without saying. Maybe Harry needed to hear him say it.
Would he believe it, though?
Severus dried his hair and body with a towel instead of a spell. He knew he was procrastinating, but he needed more time to think. As he dabbed bruise salve onto the mark on his cheek, he realised with dismay that all this delay hadn't done him any good at all. Why was it that he'd been able to outthink the Dark Lord, time and again, keeping the man off-balance and unaware of Severus' true loyalties, but when it came to Harry, a teenager, he suddenly felt unsure of himself?
It wasn't supposed to be this way. He was the master wizard in their arrangement. He was in charge.
He was the one who owned Harry.
Except, in some ways he was the one who was owned, here. I'm yours, he'd just said at Harry's urging, his cock throbbing with each word. Harry possessive of him . . . Harry jealous . . . Harry wanting Severus enough throw him to his back and claim him in a frenzy of fierce, hot thrusting . . . Severus had enjoyed every minute of it.
He'd enjoyed it enough to not question it, even. Which was unusual for him. His calculating, analytical mind had never quite stopped thinking while he'd been with Renard, noticing every detail that shattered the illusion that Polyjuice could provide.
But one provocative look from Harry, and he'd started thinking with his cock.
Only now was he realising what a tangle he was left with. Harry was over his reluctance, finally. Or some of it, at least. But how willing would he be, now that his passion was spent, and he was left with nothing but his anger towards Severus?
Enough procrastinating, Severus thought, combing fingers through his hair to sweep it away from his face. He reluctantly donned some drawstring pyjama bottoms and buttoned up his top. Then, there was nothing left to do but the obvious. Time to go upstairs and face Harry.
It was surprisingly difficult to step through the doorway that would transport him upstairs, but Severus firmed his lips and moved through it. The whooshing sensation that swept through him was usually barely noticeable, but this time he felt it keenly. Nervousness, Severus thought. It always affected him that way.
Harry was sitting in bed, propped up on pillows, reading a book. Bare-chested, wearing nothing but pyjama bottoms, his hair damp and slicked back but still a messy tangle, he almost looked the picture of seduction. Severus' mouth watered, even though he knew this wasn't some scene Harry had staged. Harry usually dressed like that for bed. And if he was waiting up for Severus, it was because he'd said he would.
Severus' gaze caught on the gleaming metal of the nipple ring, which glinted as Harry turned to face him. He didn't often stare at it, as he'd thought it best all along not to remind Harry of his enslavement. And Harry would take a pointed stare that way, even though Severus thought of the nipple ring as a symbol of their bond, not a sign of Harry's status.
Now, though, he couldn't help but fix his gaze on the small half-disk hanging below Harry's left nipple. It meant that Harry was his. And that meant more than before, now that Harry had finally rediscovered his sexual needs.
Now that he'd satisfied them with Severus, instead of alone.
"Your cheek looks better," said Harry in a level voice.
Only then did Severus realise that he hadn't said a word, yet. And that wasn't like him. He usually felt more in charge than this. More in control.
But everything had changed, he suddenly sensed. The Harry staring at him calmly from the bed wasn't the same shy, inexperienced young man who'd been convinced that Severus would enjoy shaming and hurting him. And it certainly wasn't the same Harry who'd barricaded his own door, so terrified had he been when he'd returned from London. No, this Harry was far more self-assured. He looked like he felt able to hold his own with Severus, whether he was a slave or not.
Severus, in contrast, felt completely at sea. He didn't have the slightest idea how to approach Harry now, or what to say. He just knew that if he didn't handle things well, it might be quite some time before Harry wanted him again.
And that thought was one Severus could barely tolerate.
Harry had evidently tired of waiting for Severus to reply. "Well? Nothing to say?"
Moving forward, Severus sat down on the edge of the bed, positioning himself next to Harry. "I wish you hadn't seen what you did," he said softly.
The moment he heard the words emerge, he realised how they could be misconstrued. Sure enough, Harry took them in the worst possible way.
"Of course you do," he said scornfully. "You'd rather feel free to go to that place as often as you please. Not that you aren't free, of course. I'm not such an idiot that I don't realise that. But you aren't going to enjoy your time at home much, if you do. I think I know you well enough now to be sure you won't like living with someone who can't stand you."
Severus swallowed. Somewhere in there was the implication that Harry could, in fact, stand him these days. He'd known that, of course, but he still liked hearing it said out loud. Or nearly said. He'd take what he could get. "I didn't mean that I wanted to keep going there--"
"Oh, sure you didn't."
"I meant that I was sorry I'd hurt you!" said Severus, raising his voice.
Harry laughed, the sound derision itself. "You didn't hurt me, Severus. What do you think I am, a girl?"
Severus sighed. Of course he didn't think of Harry that way. But Harry, thanks to his oafish relatives, had a hard time believing it. Severus had thought they were past all this, but obviously Harry's ingrained attitudes would take much more time to fully vanish.
"No, I don't think you're a girl," he said, shaking his head. "In fact, I--"
"Good, because the idea that you could hurt me, sleeping around like that, is just . . . stupid, Severus. I wouldn't care at all, except for the fact that you said you weren't going to treat me like your slave, right? You said that you'd make me as free as you could. And if I can't fool around, it hardly seems right that you can. In fact . . . " Harry had been staring straight ahead, but at that point he met Severus' eyes. His own were bright green now, and reflected less than total confidence. "Waiting around here for you to come home, after you'd been out doing God-knows-what . . . well, that would make me feel like I'm some kind of, I don't know. Woman, or something."
"You can't be serious--"
"Uncle Vernon used to tell awful jokes about the poor woman down the street whose husband cheated on her. Apparently she wouldn't leave him no matter how he treated her." Harry's nostrils flared. "Aunt Petunia actually praised her for that. Said it was a woman's duty to stay loyal even if her man was anything but. Just like our situation, with fucking Podentes ready to skewer me if I break that contract, while you don't have to have a care in the world. And you wonder why your catting around might make me feel like that woman?"
Severus didn't wonder any longer. So it hadn't been jealousy motivating Harry. It had been a conviction that Severus' actions said something about Harry, himself. Though of course his choice of words was hardly accurate. "I wasn't cheating on you."
"What would you call it?"
"Consideration."
"Consideration!" Harry sat up straighter. "I'm just warning you, talk like that makes me think I didn't hit you hard enough!"
Severus sighed. "The alternative was trying to persuade you to have sex. And frankly, I'd already done enough of that in order to get you ready to face your birthday."
"And the attack that never was," spat Harry. "If you ask me, your logic stinks. If I wasn't ready for sex, then the alternative was to wait! Ever heard of abstinence?"
Severus narrowed his eyes. "I don't care for it."
"You asked it of me, didn't you?"
"I've asked it of myself as well. For years at a stretch, when my position as a spy meant I couldn't risk entanglements!"
"So it shouldn't have been a problem, in that case!"
"It was more of one than you can understand!"
Harry crossed his arms over his bare chest, his muscles rippling as he moved. The nipple ring caught the light for a moment. "Are you going back to that, now? Well, I don't care what you say, I'm not stupid and I know it. And I know you know it. I earned all those N.E.W.T.s, don't forget, and I bet I'd have got one in Potions as well and made it a clean sweep if you hadn't done everything you could think of to make me hate the subject--"
"Oh, for Merlin's sake!" exclaimed Severus. He was tempted to lean over and bite Harry on the shoulder, the way he used to, when he needed to cut off a particularly misguided train of thought. Not a good way to proceed at the moment, though. He settled for leaning forward, his fists clenching with frustration. "Harry, the whole time we were readying ourselves for the invocation, all I could think of was that soon, you'd be living here as my lover. Things between us were going quite well towards the end of term, and I was looking forward to our having an active sex life. And then that was all ripped away from me when I realised what had happened to you in London. And it wasn't as though I could abstain. I had to help you prepare to face your birthday.
"And then later on, after your birthday I couldn't have what was right under my nose, what I most wanted, month after month." The frustration he'd lived with for so long was such a keen memory that Severus' fingernails cut into his palms. "I knew that if I didn't do something, it was going to drive me mad!"
"You were doing something! What was wrong with just masturbating, eh? As far as I could tell, you were doing plenty of that. Or were you doing that and seeing your whores on the side, all along?"
Ah. The heart of the matter. Harry wanted details. Severus had suspected that he would, of course. Harry's possessiveness downstairs had told him that. But Severus wasn't ready to give details. Not yet. Not until he thought they wouldn't make things worse. "If you can accept that my satisfying myself was a form of consideration for you, then why not this other?"
Harry gave him a disgusted look, and shifted away in the bed. "None of it was for me."
"So I should have thrown you to your back, the way you just did me?" asked Severus, his breathing harsh by then. "I wanted to. I thought about it, every day! And it was only by having some means of release that I managed to avoid doing just that! Or do you think it was so easy for me to watch you waking up hard and going off for a shower, alone? I told you, didn't I, that just the sight of you is enough to make me need you?"
Harry appeared startled, then. Like he'd almost forgotten about that. "Yeah, well I still think you could have limited it to showers, yourself, if you were getting so desperate."
Severus sighed. He hadn't known that Harry would feel quite this way. Well, perhaps he'd had some inkling . . . Harry had been raised in a repressive atmosphere, after all. "I think this is another case of us having been brought up with different values," he tried explaining. "Harry . . . I truly did look on the situation as though you were ill and in need of care. It would have been nothing short of brutish to press you for sex. Seeking satisfaction elsewhere seemed quite a usual solution, to me. Common in arranged marriages, in fact, when one of the parties prefers or needs to abstain."
"Oh, is that what we have?" asked Harry, glaring again. "An arranged marriage?"
Severus had thought of it in those terms before, but it was obvious that Harry hadn't. "Two men together is no bar to marriage in the wizarding world."
"Thanks for explaining the bloody obvious." Harry curled a lip. "And you didn't answer my question."
"Of course we aren't married," said Severus impatiently. "It wouldn't even be possible now, since you can't form contracts any longer." Though I could sign for you,Severus suddenly found himself thinking. He tried his best to banish that thought. Harry certainly wouldn't appreciate it. "But since our bond is for life, and sexual in nature, what we do have isn't so different from a marriage, is it?"
"Which brings us back to you being such a git about everything." Harry snorted. "Well, this has certainly been a fascinating discussion. Why don't you just get out, now? I think I've heard enough."
"I know you believe I was wrong to go to the brothel--"
"You think?"
"But we weren't together yet, not really," finished Severus. Unable to help himself, he grabbed Harry's hand and twined their fingers together. Harry tugged, trying to get away, but Severus thought it a half-hearted effort, at best.
Harry stopped fighting him and leaned back against his pillows. The book he'd been reading slid off his lap and fell to the floor with a thud. "And you think we're together, now?"
"I think that now, perhaps we can be."
"Oh, no we can't." Harry shook his head, though he didn't try to tug his hand free. "I told you, downstairs, I won't put up with this. You want your whores, fine. But you can't have me, as well."
Severus felt his throat tighten. Afraid he might give himself away, he let go of Harry's hand, then. "I don't want anyone else the way I want you."
Harry ignored that. "Suppose we start . . . er, getting together a lot. How do I know you won't go off to Hogsmeade the first time I don't feel like sex, eh? Since you feel like it would be so considerate and all."
"I suppose you'll have to trust me."
"Oh, like that's worked out, so far."
Severus almost ground his teeth together. "Yes, I've broken faith with you in every way imaginable, haven't I? I work you from morning until night, scrubbing floors like a house-elf! I demand sex you're not ready to give, and forbid you to see a single friend. Yes, a pity I haven't let you work a real job, or allowed you a single Knut to call your own, or permitted so much as a single hour's travel abroad--"
"Oh, shut up," said Harry. "I didn't mean all that. I meant the sex. You said you'd bond yourself to me, Severus. And you know, I didn't give a lot of thought to what you meant by that, but I did think it meant we were in this together. Which we obviously aren't, since you've been getting it on with God only knows how many others!"
"One."
"One what?"
"One other. That's all. And if you must know, he approached me."
"Yeah, blame him. Clever," snorted Harry.
Worth a try, Severus thought.
"I might be wrong here," continued Harry, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "but my guess is that he didn't know you were bonded--if you are--to someone else. But you knew. So either accept responsibility for your own damned decisions, or get out, like I said."
"I wasn't blaming Renard."
"Renard."
"I thought you wanted details."
"I just want to know where I stand with you, Severus," said Harry, sighing. All at once, it sounded like all the anger had drained out of him. "Look, I know I can't be with anyone but you, all right? But it's going to leave a bad taste in my mouth if I'm the only one trapped, all right?"
Trapped. Now Severus was the one with a bad taste in his mouth.
"And you said you'd meet all my needs, and this is one of them, all right? If you're having it off with Renard whenever the urge strikes, then I'll feel like I'm your harem boy or something. Like I don't have any say, not about anything. And maybe I don't, being a slave. But you said it wouldn't be like that. You said you didn't want a slave."
"I don't." Severus lifted his legs onto the bed, then, toeing off his shoes, and stretched out on his side, his head propped up on one arm. "I did bond myself to you, Harry. We are in this together. And I won't go to Renard or anyone else, again. You either believe that, or you don't."
"At this point I don't know what to believe. I mean, since you apparently think it's so considerate, in the right circumstances--"
"It's not considerate at all if it upsets you." Severus swallowed. This was much harder than he had anticipated. "I was wrong to think that you would regard the matter the same way I do."
Harry looked like he had another sarcastic You think? in mind, but he didn't say it. He didn't say anything, but merely nodded, the movement brusque. After a moment, he rolled on his side to face Severus. "So that's it?"
Severus wasn't sure what he meant. "Did you want something else from me?"
"No . . . I don't know. I just . . ." Harry cleared his throat. "When I came up here everything seemed so clear. You were an arse, and I wasn't going to have anything to do with you if I could avoid it, and . . . Anyway, you were really a twit but now it seems like you weren't particularly trying to be one. So, I just wondered, then, er . . . what now?"
"What would you like?"
Harry shrugged a little as he lay there. "I'm actually pretty knackered. It's not that late, but--" He sighed. "I was really angry. I went out to the pitch and tried to work it off, but it didn't work. Not until I had it out with you."
Had it out was one way to put it, Severus thought, images playing through his memory. Harry on top him, thrusting, his breathing a high whine of utter need in that moment before he came. Harry's hand on Severus' cock, grasping, tugging. And then afterwards, Harry laying atop him, just holding him . . .
Severus wanted that again. Wanted all of it, and desperately, but only in a mental sense, of course. He'd come twice already today, so he was hardly ready for more sex. Not that Harry would necessarily want any. He might not be furious any longer, but neither was he terribly pleased with Severus. On the other hand, what better way to change that? Harry was young enough to recover quickly from one romp and be ready for another.
It was probably underhanded, Severus thought, to use sex against Harry. But it was the best plan he had. Harry couldn't resent him for long, not if Severus was giving him mind-blowing orgasms several times a day . . .
"Perhaps you'd like something in addition to frottage?" asked Severus smoothly, lowering his voice to a deep, seductive drawl. Harry liked his voice, he knew. "A long, slow blowjob, perhaps? It would be my pleasure. And yours too, I quite assure you."
Harry didn't say anything for a moment, though he did make a gulping noise. "You're just trying to make me forget how angry I was."
At least he'd said was instead of am.
Harry reached out a hand and tentatively trailed his fingers across Severus' chest. "Um, this is probably going to sound pretty mental, but I really am exhausted. I know, I know, I'll probably be whacking myself in the head later for turning down a blowjob, but I feel like a mop somebody wrung out, all right?"
Severus could understand that. In fact, he was cheered to hear that Harry was only reluctantly refusing. "Perhaps you need a rubdown after your exertions on the pitch," he suggested, still wanting to do something for Harry. Still wanting some sort of connection, so he could believe that they had moved completely past their argument downstairs.
Harry cracked a slight grin. "You did always give brilliant backrubs. Yeah, all right." Without another word, he flipped over onto his stomach and plumped his pillow a little before resting his head on it.
Severus rubbed his hands together. It was a bit absurd for him to feel so relieved that Harry had agreed. It was only a rubdown, after all. But it was more than that, too. Harry agreeing for Severus to touch him at all . . . it meant something, considering how upset Harry had been just a short time before.
Damned forgiving Gryffindor nature, thought Severus wryly. But then, forgiving was a bit much, in the circumstances. Severus still didn't think he'd done anything to regret.
Except for hurting Harry.
He did regret that, yes. It was an uncomfortable thought, in a way. He still thought he'd rather Harry not be quite so important to him. Life would be simpler.
But as he'd discussed with Harry before, what was, was.
"Accio salveo," Severus said, raising an eyebrow when a bottle came sailing out of a nearby drawer.
Harry had the grace to flush a little. "Yeah. I . . . er, borrowed some. For, you know."
Yes, Severus did know. He'd used this same salve to masturbate, many times. Though now, he was looking forward to less of a need for self-pleasure.
Or whores.
Because now Harry wouldn't have to rely only on self-pleasure, either. He was better, and now Severus could look forward to lots and lots of sex, as much as he could handle, since Harry was still young enough to want sex all the time.
Severus practically slathered some salve onto his palms and rubbed his hands together, so excited that he could barely think straight. Definitely, he wasn't thinking when he slung one leg over Harry's thighs so he could straddle him. It was a natural position to take when planning to give a backrub.
But of course, it was thoughtless as well, all things considered.
Harry stiffened beneath him and spoke in a choked-sounding voice. "No. Off. I can't. I mean, I don't like that."
Severus got off him at once and took up a position by Harry's side.
Harry's sigh of relief was audible. "Thanks. Uh, sorry. I mean, I know you weren't going to do that. It's just--"
"It's fine," interrupted Severus. "I can reach you just as well from here."
That was a lie, of course. But what was true was that he could reach Harry well enough. Strong strokes up Harry's back, then fingers pressing against vertebrae as he worked his way back down. Mmmmm. Harry was toned and strong, even more so now than last spring. Must come from coaching Quidditch. Hours on a broom, day in and day out.
Severus had suggested the coaching position because it was something Harry would like. But now, he saw that it had definite advantages even beyond the obvious fact that a contented Harry was one more likely to cross powers with him.
"I forgot how good you are at this," sighed Harry. "Oh yeah, there. That feels great. Mmm, and there, yes."
Severus smiled as he massaged Harry's shoulders and listened to the murmurs of contentment filling the air. It wasn't lost on him that Harry was restless now, his hips slowly moving up and down. Not quite humping the mattress, but not far off, either.
After a while, Harry started to chuckle softly.
"What?"
"Hmm? Oh, I was just thinking about how things used to be." Harry stretched his neck out a little as Severus' fingers rubbed a tendon there. "You know, I was so nervous, even over a backrub. I mean, I think at times I'd have done anything to avoid it, but there was no avoiding it . . . but now, it all just seems, I don't know. Sort of silly, maybe, all that fuss."
Severus would have kept on with the backrub, but with that, Harry was suddenly flipping onto his side to look at him. And the look on his face could only be described as hungry. And yet he didn't ask for what he obviously wanted.
Severus could have offered again, but he wanted Harry to ask.
"You weren't silly. Just young," he said.
A slow smile curled Harry's lips. Just seeing it made Severus wish he hadn't wasted his passions on Renard. He'd rather be ready for another go-round with Harry.
"Oh, come on. I know you thought I was ridiculous."
"At times," Severus admitted, stretching out to lie facing Harry. From there it seemed natural to reach out and rub his chest the way he'd just rubbed his back. "But that was before I understood just how inexperienced you were."
"Not so inexperienced now," said Harry. Assertively.
Severus grinned, delighted. They had a long way to go, of course, but this kind of banter gave him worlds of hope. Before the invocation, he'd fantasised about scenes just like this. His fantasies had been filled with sex, of course. Hot, desperate, gasping sex, in every variety imaginable. But then afterwards, he'd seen scenes like this one.
Lying in bed beside his lover, relaxed, fondling him while they teased each other with talk as well as touch . . .
"Yes, I think you're comfortable with me, now," said Severus, still smiling.
"You're . . . all right," said Harry. "Except, you have to mean it, what you said before. No more René."
Renard, Severus could have said, but he didn't. "No more," he said instead, meaning it in more ways than Harry could know.
"Good. Then let's not discuss it again."
"As you wish."
Harry grinned too, then. "Oh, are we doing that Harry-leads thing, again? I like it."
"I like it, too." Especially if it gets us into bed again faster, thought Severus.
"Weird though, huh?" Harry ran a hand through his own hair, mussing it. "Bossing you around, even if it's just in bed? I mean, I haven't forgotten that I am your slave . . ."
Severus wished that Harry could forget that. But perhaps that wasn't reasonable. "Mmm, and as far as Podentes is concerned, your most important task is to please me. If having you lead in bed does that, then the spell can have no objection." Severus placed both his hands on Harry's shoulders, his thumbs tracing Harry's collarbones. "It's a private arrangement. And one I'm sure I'll quite enjoy."
Harry's voice was gruff. "Yeah, me too. Uh, so . . . speaking of leading, I don't suppose you still feel like . . . er, blowing me? 'Cause I'm not as knackered as I thought, after all--"
Harry stopped speaking then, probably because Severus was reaching down to the waistband of Harry's pyjamas. Before he could pull the fabric down over Harry's cock and balls, however, Harry was scrambling to shimmy out of the garment.
Definitely, Harry was comfortable with him, these days.
Severus slid down the bed, still lying on his side, a little amused when Harry shifted up at the same time. "Not eager, I see."
"Just making sure your legs don't hang off too far," quipped Harry. "Not eager at all. But what's taking you so long?"
Severus laughed out loud, then opened his mouth wide. Harry's cock was pointed directly at him by then, but Severus didn't suck it in or attempt to swallow it whole. He merely stretched out his tongue and leaning his head forward, gave Harry's balls a long, slow lick.
"Oh, God." Harry's voice was shaky. "That's not fair. That makes me want it worse."
"Well, you could always tell me to stop," said Severus between licks.
"I don't want you to stop." Harry thrust his hips forward and moaned.
"I meant, you could tell me to move all this--" He gave a particularly wet lick. "--to your cock."
"And you'll do as I say," panted Harry, clearly finding the idea more and more erotic. At least judging by the frantic motion of his hips, and the bead of moisture glistening at the tip of his cock, now. "Yeah, whatever I say. So suck my balls a little, yeah. Not too hard . . . aaaaahhhh . . ."
Harry flopped to his back onto the mattress, his hands scrabbling to pull Severus' head so it would move with him. Ouch. Severus ended up with a slightly wrenched neck, and a couple of sore spots on his scalp. But if Harry was desperate enough to pull his hair, he wasn't going to complain.
"Cock now. Now," said Harry, still tugging on Severus' hair.
Severus sucked him in to the root, then, and began moving up and down, up and down. Not that he needed to. He could have remained still and let Harry do all the work. Harry's hips were pumping like he'd spill at any moment.
But Severus didn't want to be a mouth to be fucked. He wanted to pleasure Harry.
Growling slightly, Severus put his hands on Harry's bare hips, one on either side, and pressed him down into the mattress to hold him still. The instant after he did it, it crossed his mind that the slight force might call bad memories to mind. But Harry didn't react, or at least not negatively.
"Need--" he panted, his fingers weaving themselves through the covers. "Need--"
Severus kept his hands in place, but lifted his mouth off Harry's cock for just a moment, just long enough to say one thing. "I know what you need."
Harry relaxed into the mattress then, giving a jerky nod, perhaps remembering the times that Severus had pleasured him, before. Trusting Severus to see to his needs.
Severus licked Harry, root to tip, and then settled in to enjoy the feast. Harry was a delicious mouthful, and as far as Severus was concerned, just the right size. Just the kind of cock he liked best . . .
Perfect.
The word lingered in his mind as he bobbed his head up and down, laving Harry with wet heat, licking this part and that, then curling his lips over his teeth in order to gently nibble at the tender vein on the underside of Harry's cock. Harry bucked again, or tried to, but Severus held him firmly down. One part of him marvelled at the trust Harry was showing him. He felt humbled by it, even though another part of his mind knew that position probably had a lot to do with it. Harry didn't want to be held down at all, not if he was face down, but he seemed able to tolerate it when he was lying on his back.
"Oh, God," he was moaning now. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, there. There. Good, mmm--"
Severus drank in the words, using them to guide him, moving his tongue and lips in ways that made Harry become increasingly incoherent. Music to his ears, especially when he opened his mouth wide again, and sucked Harry completely in.
And then, the final reward for all his efforts. Harry jerked his hips up, screaming slightly as he began to come.
Severus drank that in, too, sucking and nibbling on Harry all through his orgasm, which lasted surprisingly long considering that Harry had come just a short time earlier. Pleasures of youth, thought Severus, a little bit jealous. But if he couldn't be that young again himself, at least he could enjoy having a lover with that kind of stamina.
Afterwards, Severus moved up on the bed to lie beside Harry. He propped himself up on an elbow and looked down at him. Eyes closed, mouth slightly parted, Harry was still panting a bit. He looked almost drunk on pleasure, and when he opened his eyes, they were glazed clear over.
And then he smiled, a slow expression of utter languor, his handsome features becoming something truly heart-stopping.
Severus' heart didn't stop, of course. Not even for an instant. But it did seem to thud a bit harder, for a moment, there.
He didn't think about it very often, but he knew in that moment that he more than cared about Harry. He knew that he loved him.
It made him feel a bit annoyed, actually. This was not how he'd envisioned their relationship back before the invocation, at all. He'd thought he would always have the upper hand. But as he'd lectured himself earlier, what was, was, so Severus tried not to let it bother him. Things could be worse, after all. At least Harry couldn't leave him, the way any other good-looking young man would.
Actually, any other good-looking young man wouldn't give him a second glance in the first place. Not unless he was paying.
Suddenly, his morning and afternoon with Renard seemed more tawdry than enjoyable.
"Brilliant," Harry softly whispered, reaching out a hand to stroke Severus' cheek. "Mmm. I don't even have words. But you're definitely forgiven. As long as you don't, you know, again."
The reminder almost ruined the moment for Severus. "I thought we weren't going to discuss that any further," he said, his voice gruff as he moved away from Harry's questing fingers.
Not to be denied, Harry scooted forward and touched Severus again. He seemed in good spirits. But then, he should be.
"I want to touch you. So you're to let me, eh?"
Severus sensed then that Harry was still relishing being in charge. At least he seemed to have dropped the issue of the brothel. So that was well and good.
"You're quite welcome to touch me."
"Mmm, I guess so," said Harry, smiling again. "Here?" He stroked downwards, over Severus' chin and down his neck.
"Anywhere you like."
Harry's voice was throaty as he unbuttoned Severus' pyjama top. "Funny, you usually only wear bottoms to bed. Like me."
"Planning to put your own back on, then?"
Harry chuckled. "Nah. I kind of like being naked with you, I think. Feels . . . I don't know. Kind of naughty, I guess, but I figure I'm all grown up and allowed to be naughty if I like."
"Allowed to be as naughty as you like," corrected Severus, liking the conversation. He didn't think he'd ever slept with anyone who would use a word like naughty, but coming from Harry it was . . . charming, in some strange way.
"I like this," said Harry, suddenly darting his hand into Severus' pyjama bottoms and grasping hold of his cock. He moved his hand up and down on it, clearly trying to arouse Severus. Then he stilled. "No? Not in the mood?"
"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak."
Harry's smile fell. "Oh. Really?"
"We aren't all teenagers."
"I'm not a teenager!"
"Wait until you're twenty to make such claims," Severus dryly advised.
"Yeah, all right." Harry yawned. "Well, I'm pretty beat by now, anyway. 'Night."
With that, he reached over Severus to grab his wand from the night table and spell off all the lights. Then he rolled to face away from Severus, but it clearly wasn't any sort of rejection, since he proceeded to scootch backwards until his back was resting against Severus' chest.
It was all Severus could wish for. A naked Harry, pressed up against him, replete with recent pleasure, accepting both Severus and his own place in Severus' life. Finally at ease, both sexually and in every other way.
For all that though, Severus was wary of crossing any line that might set them back. "Shall I go downstairs, then?" he whispered in the darkness. "You mentioned wanting to sleep alone?"
"Don't be stupid," said Harry, yawning. "I was just angry. You stay here. It's your bed, too, you know. Oh, but I meant to tell you it's been great to have some space I can treat as my own, you know, even if it really isn't. But I want you here when I wake up . . . 'Night, then."
Just moments later, Harry was fast asleep. And evidently more exhausted than usual, judging by the slight snoring noises he began to make.
Laughing softly, Severus kissed the top of Harry's head and moved him into a more comfortable position, Harry's head cradled on his shoulder.
And then he, too, fell into a deep, satisfying sleep.
Sunday, October 17, 1998 ----8:15 a.m.
Harry blinked as he woke up. Something was different this morning, and it wasn't just that he was upstairs. There was a hand on his cock, and it wasn't his own.
Actually, he'd woken up to find Severus' hand on him a few times before, earlier this fall, but only when Severus was still asleep. On those previous occasions, Severus' fingers might be squeezing him lightly, but they weren't stroking him firmly up and down, deliberately teasing him. And the minute Harry would jostle the man next to him, Severus would wake up and move his hand away. He didn't quite apologise, but it was clear that he knew Harry wasn't really ready for that.
This morning, things were entirely different. Severus was clearly wide awake, and was trying to wake Harry up in the most pleasurable way possible. Or, not the most pleasurable way, considering the previous night's blowjob.
Harry yawned, and made a show of batting the hand away, just to see what Severus would do. "Tired."
The hand came back as though attached to an invisible string, and started right in on him again.
"Severus, 'm tired!"
Severus seemed to hesitate, then, which made Harry feel a bit bad. He flipped over to face Severus, and grinned. "Gotcha."
The other man looked him over, his gaze seemingly drawn to the nipple ring Harry wore.
Harry was used to it, now. In fact, he hardly ever noticed it, not even in the shower when he was soaping himself all over. For a long time he'd tried not to think about it. And then one day, he'd realised that he wasn't trying any longer. The nipple ring just seemed like part of him now, and if it marked him as belonging to Severus . . . well, he did belong to Severus. It couldn't be undone.
"I liked what you were doing," said Harry, thinking it a bit odd he'd have to say so. But Severus was still doing nothing but stare at him. Harry wanted that hand back.
Then again, if he was in charge, he didn't need to wait and hope, or drop hints, did he?
"Touch me again," he said, surprised at how husky his own voice sounded.
"Here?" Severus' thumb and forefinger began to gently toy with the nipple ring.
Harry couldn't help but gasp. He'd never thought his nipples to be a particularly sensitive area, but now, his left nipple sort of tingled when Severus tugged on the ring through it. "Oh, God. That's good . . ."
A slow smile curled the other man's lips, and that was when Harry remembered. Severus had once said that his pierced nipple might become sensitive. Exquisitely sensitive . . .
"Yeah, that's about right," gasped Harry, getting a little bit lost in the sensation. It didn't exactly shoot right down to his cock, but there was definitely some connection there.
"Hmm?"
Instead of answering, Harry wriggled forward and started kissing Severus. Deeply, mouth opened wide, his arms coming around to clutch the other man. Kissing him like he hadn't in a long, long time. Like it was the invocation all over again.
Harry groaned. The kissing was good. Beyond good. Severus' thumb was still massaging his nipple, and between that and the sensation of their tongues mating, now there was a feeling shooting straight down into his cock. He'd been hard a few moments earlier, when Severus was touching him there, but now he was aching with it, his cock jutting straight out from his body to poke against Severus as Harry thrust and thrust . . .
There was something exhilarating, Harry thought, about waking up completely naked, ready for sex, no troublesome clothes in the way . . .
"You're wearing too much," he gasped, reaching out a hand to snatch at Severus' pants.
All told, the other man wasn't wearing much at all. Sometime during the night, or maybe before he'd got into bed with Harry, Severus had stripped down to nothing buthis silk boxers, but suddenly it seemed like he was all covered up. Harry wanted all of him, his whole body, naked just like he was.
All at once, he wanted that so badly that he felt frantic with it. Maybe it was a sensation that he'd waited for this for so long. Too long. Why had he gone weeks masturbating alone in the shower when he could have been with Severus? The way Severus touched him--it was loads better than his own hand.
Harry grabbed the waistband of Severus' pants and yanked. Hard.
"Tearing off my clothes, now?"
"Yeah," said Harry, almost grunting. The garment didn't tear, though. "Damn."
Severus' voice was deeply amused. Rich with it. "Ah. Well, they're specially made, as you know. Quality--"
"Get them off!"
"Impatient, are we?"
Harry sensed that he was being teased, but he was in no mood for it. His cock was too hard, his need too great. Yanking himself closer to the night table, he fumbled for his wand, intending to banish Severus' pants, if that was what it took. Yeah, probably that spell would work just fine. He couldn't imagine Severus objecting to it, not really.
Severus made a tsking noise. "So impatient. If you want my cock so much, why don't you just reach inside?"
Harry probably would have felt like an idiot then, except he had no time for feeling anything except the long, hard length that seemed to spring into his hand the moment he dove his fingers into Severus' pants.
"So good . . ."
"Good to hear." This time, it was Severus who started the kissing.
Harry's head began to spin. It was too much. Hot mouths locked together, Severus' hand on his cock now, his own hand rubbing up and down that large shaft he'd fantasised about, his nipple still tingling . . .
He kissed Severus harder as he began to come and come and come.
"Mmm," murmured Severus against his lips. "Yes. Delicious."
Harry certainly thought so. Like waking up naked, there was some kind of freedom here, he dazedly thought as his orgasm ebbed to a halt. Knowing that he could do this anytime he liked, have sex as much as he pleased, ask for blowjobs, frottage, whatever he wanted . . .
It seemed almost unreal to him. Like he'd been let loose in Honeydukes. Except, this was fifty times better than sweets could ever be. And actually, it was more like he was going to live in Honeydukes from now on . . .
Harry flopped to his back afterwards, breathing hard. "Oh. Wow. Yeah. That was good."
"Was it."
Only then did Harry realise that he'd forgotten about Severus. Well, not about him, certainly, but he'd been so caught up in his own pleasure that he'd thought of nothing else. And that wasn't any sort of way to treat Severus, who'd always been pretty generous when it came to giving pleasure. "Oh. Sorry. Er . . ." He took a stab in the dark. "Frottage, you think?"
The word still tasted exciting and exotic to him.
Severus' shoulders were tense even as he shrugged. "You decide."
Later, Harry would think back on that and appreciate it as Severus' way of saying that he wasn't about to pressure Harry. At the time, though, he found it vaguely frustrating. So much simpler to just have Severus say what he wanted!
But then again, maybe what Severus wanted most was for Harry to do as he pleased.
Harry smiled. He knew what he felt like doing. "You're still wearing too much."
Severus fairly scrambled out of his pants, that time.
The lubricant he'd used on himself, Harry thought, reaching for it. "On your back."
Severus sucked in a breath as he rolled over, his hips thrusting a few times in anticipation.
"Impatient, are we?"
That got Harry a glare. Harry just laughed. Then he took a good, long look at Severus. It seemed like he'd spent so long trying not to see that now it was time he really enjoyed it. And there was certainly plenty of Severus to look at. His balls and cock weren't exactly massive, but they were very large. Satisfyingly large, Harry thought, his fingers trailing over the sparse hairs scattered across Severus' balls. He tugged on one or two hairs, gently.
Severus curled his hands into the bedcovers and all but whined.
"Oh, like that, do you?" Harry grinned, ghosting his hand all across Severus' cock and balls. "You didn't mention that when you were giving me that hand-job lesson in the bath, did you?"
"Harry--"
"You are impatient."
"I've been waiting since June, you impertinent little--"
No, you haven't, Harry thought, flashes of their argument darting around inside his head. But he didn't want to think about that. They'd agreed to put it behind them. And as long as Severus was bloody well Harry's, now, and didn't forget it . . . yeah.
"Waiting for this?" asked Harry, flicking his thumb across the head of Severus' cock. "Or this?" He palmed his whole cock then, stroking it hand over hand.
Severus arched his back, a hissing noise rushing through his clenched teeth.
Harry grinned, feeling wicked. Or naughty again, perhaps. Sitting here in the nude, playing with Severus' cock . . . he'd never really known that he could revel in it, like this. It was hard to believe that once he'd dreaded this. It was such great fun! Like soaring out over the pitch, going as fast as he liked, feeling the wind rushing through his hair.
Harry decided it was time for lubricant. A good slathering of it. Goo all over the bed, but who cared? Harry could do as he pleased. Nobody here to object if he made a mess of everything . . .
He'd never felt so free, he abruptly realised.
Just because he could, he poured even more salve out into his cupped hand, and rubbed it all over Severus' chest, tweaking his nipples the way he'd played with Harry's, while his free hand continued to work the man's cock. Up and down, nice firm strokes, his index finger caressing the sensitive cord on the underside with every stroke.
Severus was clearly straining towards his climax, his muscles tensed, his hips jutting up to thrust his cock in tempo to Harry's strokes, but for all that, he was far too quiet.
"Moan," said Harry, tossing the lubricant aside to stretch out beside Severus. One arm pulling him onto his side to face him, the other wrapped around his cock, Harry licked Severus' neck from collarbone to earlobe. "Hmm? Let me hear you. I want to hear you."
"I-- I--" Whatever Severus had been going to say dissolved into some kind of low growling noise. But the sound of that was something else again. It was primal, coming up from his gut, and practically screamed sex.
Harry felt his own cock, so recently satisfied, stir to life again. And then he was the one talking. Babbling, almost. "Want you. Want, yeah, again--"
"Then have me," rasped Severus, rolling onto his back again and this time pulling Harry along until Harry was atop him, thrusting.
Have me. It was so simple, in the end, everything unfolding into a blend of sighs and sweat and sensation. Cock slowly sliding against cock, hands everywhere, then grasping hips to thrust harder, then harder . . .
It seemed to Harry that he lost himself inside the experience. Like he wasn't a separate person any longer; he was part of something new, something straining toward release, climbing higher and higher, until he hit some high peak of perfection and shattered.
Harry clutched at Severus, fingernails digging into the man's shoulders as he felt pulses of pleasure beginning to gather in his balls and spurt out through the end of his cock. He wasn't sure if he screamed or gasped or moaned or called Severus' name. Or all of it. He was only sure of one thing, and it was that sex with Severus was brilliant.
"Oh, God, I did it again, didn't I?" he blurted afterwards, almost mortified. "I can't seem to stop myself. I mean, I know it's your turn, but--"
Severus nudged Harry to the side, then pushed up on an elbow. "I take it you didn't notice."
Harry's gaze darted down to Severus' hips. The man's cock was going limp now, and his thighs were spattered with semen. His own, or Harry's . . . impossible to tell.
"Oh, you mean you--" Harry cleared his throat. "I probably should have known at the time, you think?"
"There you go again, worrying about what you should do in bed," chided Severus, sitting up completely. Reaching for his wand, he cast a cleaning spell and then pulled the covers over them both, gathering Harry into a loose embrace, the two of them lying face to face. "Just enjoy it."
"Oh, I did, I did." Harry felt so relaxed he wondered if his bones had gone soft. "Mmm. That was so good."
"Mmm," echoed Severus. All of a sudden his voice sounded distant. Sleepy.
Harry was a little peckish, but he decided that food could wait. It was Sunday, anyway. No reason why they couldn't loll about in bed as long as they pleased, and stuff themselves when they felt like it, and--
Life looked good, Harry thought. Really good.
Closing his eyes, he turned around and snuggled back against Severus.